What to Say to Someone Diagnosed with Cancer: Advice from a Cancer Patient
Navigating conversations with someone diagnosed with cancer can be challenging. What should you say? What’s helpful versus harmful? Samantha Lynn, a cancer survivor, offers valuable advice in her video, sharing insights from her own journey and from others in the cancer community.
Here’s a summary of her guidance on how to support someone with cancer through meaningful words.
1. “I’m Here for You”
This phrase is simple, direct, and universally comforting. It shows your willingness to support without placing pressure on the individual to respond or ask for help.
Why it works: It’s non-invasive and lets them know they’re not alone, even if they’re not ready to talk.
2. Offer Specific Help
Instead of saying, “Let me know if you need anything,” try offering concrete support, such as, “I’m going to bring meals for a week.”
Why it works: General offers of help can feel overwhelming. Taking initiative with specific actions removes the burden of decision-making from the person with cancer.
3. “That Sucks, But You’ve Got This”
Acknowledge their struggles without making it overly dramatic or sad. Pair empathy with encouragement by recognizing their strength in a personal way.
Why it works: It validates their feelings while providing a boost of confidence. Adding a specific example of their resilience makes it even more meaningful.
4. “Let’s Go Do Something Fun”
Suggest simple activities that aren’t centered on cancer, such as getting coffee, going for a walk, or watching a movie.
Why it works: Distracting activities help take their mind off treatment and bring moments of normalcy and joy. Timing is key—suggest these activities when they’re feeling up to it.
5. “I’m Sorry You’re Going Through This”
While this phrase can be tricky, Samantha emphasizes the importance of understanding its intent. It’s less about pity and more about acknowledging their pain and showing empathy.
Why it works: When delivered genuinely, it conveys compassion without needing an immediate response.
6. “I Love You and I’m Here for You”
For close relationships, such as partners, family members, or best friends, this simple affirmation can provide significant emotional support.
Why it works: Cancer can make patients feel guilty or burdensome in relationships. Reminding them of your unwavering support can alleviate those feelings.
7. “What Do You Need?” or “What Can I Do?”
For those unsure about how to help, asking directly can open the door for the person with cancer to express their needs.
Why it works: It shows you care and are ready to help, even if they don’t immediately take you up on the offer.
8. “This Is Just a Bump in the Road”
Positive affirmations can help foster hope, but Samantha advises using them carefully. Avoid overly positive comments that might feel dismissive, especially during hard days.
Why it works: When timed appropriately, hopeful statements can remind them of the light at the end of the tunnel.
9. “You Have Far More Strength Than You Realize”
Many cancer patients don’t feel strong but are often more resilient than they think. Encouraging their strength, especially when paired with personal examples, can inspire confidence.
Why it works: It’s empowering without being patronizing. However, Samantha suggests this resonates more coming from other survivors or those with firsthand experience.
10. Just Listen
Sometimes, the most supportive thing you can do is simply be present and listen without offering solutions or comparisons.
Why it works: It lets the person with cancer share their thoughts and feelings without judgment or interruption.
Key Takeaways
Be thoughtful and genuine: Tailor your words to the individual and their personality.
Focus on empathy: Show understanding rather than trying to “fix” their feelings.
Be patient: Don’t expect immediate responses, as they may feel overwhelmed.
Samantha reminds us that even when unsure, saying something is better than staying silent. Your effort to connect and support will be appreciated, even if it’s not perfect.
For more insights and advice, Samantha’s video series explores other aspects of supporting people with cancer, including what to do and how to care for them.
Remember: Words matter, but so does your presence. Showing up with compassion and understanding can make a world of difference.
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This blog was reviewed by Dr. Sourabh Kharait.
This blog is for educational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult with your healthcare provider before making any changes to your treatment plan, hydration strategies, or diet. The information provided here is based on general insights and may not apply to individual circumstances.
