Why Cancer Patients Get "Ghosted" by Friends and Family - And How to Support Them
Cancer is one of the most challenging experiences a person can face. Along with the physical and emotional toll of the disease and treatment, many cancer patients have to contend with an unexpected additional burden - being "ghosted" by friends and family.
"Cancer ghosting" is when loved ones, whether friends, family or coworkers, stop communicating with someone after their cancer diagnosis. As the video highlights, this is an all-too-common phenomenon that can leave cancer patients feeling incredibly lonely and misunderstood during an already difficult time.
According to Dr. Monique C. James, a psychiatrist at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, there are a few potential reasons why people may distance themselves from a loved one with cancer:
1. Fear and past trauma: Some people may avoid engaging because they've had painful past experiences with cancer, like losing a loved one. They may hope that by ignoring it, the cancer will just "go away."
2. Discomfort with the unknown: Cancer can be scary and unpredictable. People may not know what to say or how to help, so they end up pulling away instead.
3. Selfishness: Regrettably, some people prioritize their own comfort over supporting their loved one through a health crisis.
Whatever the reason, cancer ghosting can be devastating for the patient. As cancer survivor Ashley Levinson shared, "There are days where you feel like you can't take another step, and sometimes hearing from that person or hearing a kind word gives you that ability to take that step that you need."
So how can we be better at supporting loved ones with cancer? Dr. James offers some helpful advice:
1. Focus on the present, not the future. Don't try to conjure up overly optimistic expectations - just be there in the moment.
2. Acknowledge the difficulty. Simply saying "This must be really tough" can go a long way.
3. Ask how you can help, and be prepared for any answer. The support they need may surprise you.
4. Sometimes, just being present is enough. A brief text like "Thinking of you" can make a big difference.
The bottom line is that cancer patients need their support systems more than ever. By making the effort to stay connected, we can help ease their burden and remind them that they don't have to face this alone.
About Alison Kosik
Freelance Reporter/Anchor ABC News, Former Business Correspondent and Anchor at CNN
To learn how HuMOLYTE can aid in hydrating patients during chemotherapy and alleviating chemotherapy side effects, visit here.
